As income approaches infinity, competence approaches zero.
Light travels faster than sound which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If it's zero degrees outside now and tomorrow's forecast is said to be twice as cold -- how cold will it be?
Why do couch potatoes press harder on a remote-control when they know that the battery is dead?
Why do banks charge a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money that they know you don't have?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why is the Department of Interior in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do scientists call it research when searching for something new?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Disney World and computers are both operated by a mouse.
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How do you set a laser printer on stun?
Is it possible to have a civil war?
If all the world is a stage, where is the auditorium?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, what do the rest of them do?
If the #2 pencil is commonly accepted to be the most popular, why is it still #2?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay us to do it?
If you eat pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why is it called tourist season when you can't add a tourist permit to your hunting license?
Is the alphabet ordered from A to Z purely because of the song?
If the flight recorder is not damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole plane designed like the flight recorder?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If most vehicle accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone live 10 miles away?